Steubenville, Ohio RAPE

     I know it's been a while, but I need to rant, and this whole situation is completely FUCKED UP!!!

I'm so very happy that we live in a society where it's apparently COMPLETELY fine to stand around and watch as a highly intoxicated and UNCONSCIOUS girl is raped. Not only is that okay, but it's apparently okay that the kids that stood around and WATCHED her get raped, took pictures, and videos of it happening and POSTED them online. They also felt the need to tweet and post about it ALL over the internet. And to top all that off, the mainstream media is making the boys who raped her out to be the real victims because they've been sentenced to ONE WHOLE FUCKING YEAR in Juvenile Hall, and they have to register as sex offenders for the rest of their lives. Oh and don't forget, they won't be allowed to play football in college....


BOO FUCKING HOO! These boys deserve a LOT worse than a measly year in Juvie, and having to register as sex offenders. I honestly think they should be in jail for life without parole. But noooo. These boys are VICTIMS. And the kids that stood around and watched, well they're just kids, and because they were drinking, they didn't realize that what was happening was wrong. FUCK THAT. Those assholes KNEW it was wrong, they just didn't give a flying fuck, because the girl was apparently a 'slut' to begin with. I'm sorry, but a person's lifestyle, and how they dress, does NOT in any way shape or form justify them being raped. She was so drunk, that she passed out, and these boys are just like, oh hey, let's fuck her, she can't say no, so it's consensual. NOOOOOOOOO! It's NOT CONSENSUAL! Unless she is aware of her surroundings and able to speak clearly, and can walk around without falling over, she CAN'T give consent. She either has to say, "yes, I wanna do this." Or be physically active in the situation, by her own free will. An unconscious person can't hold a conversation, so how they got that she wanted them to do that shit to her, is a complete miracle to me. Apparently, we can all have clear conversations after drinking so much that we pass the fuck out. I didn't even know that was fucking possible, but it apparently is. 

I just find it so fucking sad that we as a society see something like this happening and instead of doing the morally right thing, and stopping it, it's now ACCEPTABLE to egg it on, and make the girl who's being raped out to be the real bad guy in the whole situation. Yes, how dare she be unconscious and magically ask two boys to take advantage of her. How dare she wear a skirt to a party. She's a slut, she had it coming. Or she was asking for it. The people who have rationalized the fact that these boys RAPED her while she was unconscious, by somehow pinning the blame on her, are just so fucking ridiculous. Like how do you rationalize rape? Oh well it's okay, she was a slut. She puts out all the time anyways. What's one time while she has no idea this shit is happening to her gonna hurt? 

I WOULD give props to the boy who said they needed to stop, but I can't because as soon as he realized nobody was gonna have his back, he shut up and let it happen. This shit is unacceptable. Especially, since there are adults saying that the kids who were watching and the boys who were performing were consuming alcohol, they didn't know that what they were seeing/doing was wrong. BULL SHIT! I don't care what you think happens to their minds and morals when kids drink, they still understand that rape is wrong. They still know what's right and what's wrong in general. They just take a little longer to process it. Yet, for some reason, I just know that the kids that stood around watching and recording and snapping pictures, aren't gonna get any kind of punishment. And that's fucked up for two reasons. 1. THEY WITNESSED A RAPE AND DIDN'T TRY TO HELP HER.  And 2. In Ohio, it's against the law to fail to report a crime, if you witness it. Posting videos and pictures online for millions of people to see, is NOT reporting the crime. Reporting the crime is calling the police and telling them what's going on. And the boys who raped her, they KNEW what they were doing was sick and twisted, and just fucking WRONG, they just didn't give a fuck. 

I really thought that society was better than this. We all know rapists are not good people, so why the fuck should I feel bad for these boys? They're scum. They went out of their way to ruin a girl's life. And that's exactly what they've done. They've scarred her for life, and she's probably gonna need a shit ton of therapy just for being raped. Gandhi only knows what the being treated like this was all her fault is gonna do to her. Honestly, my biggest worry at this point, is her well-being. I know she has to be going through a LOT of emotional and mental crap right now, and I hope and pray that she fights through it all, and is able to say she survived, because I know a LOT of people would decide to end their lives the second they not only found out they were raped (Because she was unconscious and had NO idea it happened), but they also are apparently to blame for two assholes taking advantage of her. 

I have no fucking hope for humanity at this point, at all. This is bullshit, those boys should be put away for a hell of a lot longer, AND the kids who stood around and watched and did nothing to save her, should be put away for at LEAST 3 years, just because they were heartless bastards who didn't do a FUCKING thing to help a girl who was physically unable to help herself...

**** Also, I hate using the word bastard. I think it's rude and is probably one of my least favorite words in the world, but this just pisses me off to no end. I don't understand how people can be so fucking heartless, and just CRUEL. GAHHH FUUUUUCKKKK!

Amanda Todd?

         Am I the only one that doesn't see Amanda Todd as a slut deserving of death? I mean she was 13 when this all started. When people made her feel good about herself, and as a naive 13 year old, it can be expected that she would make the mistake of flashing people online. Especially since they were strangers, and she didn't think that they'd know where she lived, or what schools she would be attending. To think that somebody would blackmail her, wasn't even plausible to her. Why would she think such a thing would happen, when they were always so nice to her? 
Sure, millions of people commit suicide, because they are bullied, or are mad, but how many times do people commit suicide because they've been blackmailed to the point of getting harrassed at school for ONE mistake. She made that one mistake (flashing people online) and some asshole took it upon himself to send pictures of it to everyone she went to school with, and they treated her like shit, so she moved schools, and he somehow sent them to her new classmates as well. That's fucking insanity in and of itself, why would you continuosly ruin someone else's life? THEN this boy acts like he gives a damn about her, she finds out he has a girlfriend, and is heartbroken, so when he asks her to come hang out, she of course (having been rejected by everyone else in her schools) goes over thinking it'll be okay. Then he talks her into hooking up with him. Yes, it was a poor decision on her part, but he made her feel wanted, and to somebody who feels unwated, that means a LOT more than, "Oh he has a girlfriend." What's worse? He tells his girlfriend about it, and just sits back and watches as she gets the shit beat out of her, because she made TWO idiotic decisions. Not only that, but people told her they wish she'd just die already. 
I'm sorry if you fail to see why this is such a big issue, but the fact that kids who are barely 16 are wishing someone would die, egging them on in their suicidal thoughts and attempts, is just FUCKED UP! Why would you do that? What justifies that? And are all of you who have done the SAME damn things, really that much better than her? If she deserved to die, don't you think you deserve the same? You can't sit back and call her a slut, if she's had what? ONE known sexual partner, and a few instances of flashing strangers, and you've had countless sexual partners. She was also into drugs, whatever they may have been, which leads me to believe that she had so much trouble coping with the fact that everyone she knew hated her, that she just wanted an escape. 
If you fail to see why this one girl is getting so much attention, let me spell it out for you. She was pushed, by people her own fucking age to commit suicide. And quite frankly I applaud the fact that she put up with so much hate for 2 fucking years. Yes, some of us have been through worse, but over long periods of time, with a little rest in between instances. She became a recluse because she couldn't go to any school without being blackmailed by some creep who gets off by ruining young girl's lives. 
And another thing, do ANY of you know how fucking hard it is to go through with killing yourself? It takes a REALLY fucking strong person to be able to take their own life and be able to be okay with that. I personally struggle with suicidal thoughts and tendencies on a daily basis, and I can't even imagine the willpower she must have had, to take that final plunge into a painless existence. She was no coward. She was stronger than any of you will ever be, because she had the courage to say FUCK YOU ALL and just end her suffering for once and for all. I highly doubt that any of you could put up with what she endured. I know I couldn't. People get crueler and crueler EVERY year, and nobody does anything to help the kids that get the worst of it. Seriously, her principle offered her counseling, that's it. They didn't offer to suspend or even punish the kids doing this to her. They didn't offer any kind of refuge. They never do. The most a school will do is threaten to punish a student, and hope that a threat is good enough to get them to stop. I know, I've been there, they send you to the counselor's office once a week, and tell the kids that they're getting a warning this time, then they get another warning, and another one. They never actually get any kind of substantial punishment, because why do schools need to give a fuck about ONE student? They only care that the grades the students get average at a high enough level to keep their funding. 
Amanda Todd isn't the only one that the system forgot to give a damn about, but I certainly hope that teachers start reaching out to the students who don't seem to have anybody, because this NEEDS to stop. I personally don't like hearing that KIDS are egging on each other to commit self harm, or suicide. It's like a bad movie, that never ends. Suicide isn't a fucking joke, and if you've ever thought or attempted suicide, you'd know that. Those of you that HAVE thought about and HAVE attempted suicide, maybe even succeeded but were found just in time to be saved, you have NO room to talk down on her. She may be a slut in your eyes, but if you've tried to kill yourself, and say she deserved to die, you're a hypocrite, and maybe just maybe you shouldn't have survived your attempts. You're scum, and quite frankly, I can't believe I've ever associated with you people. 

The media

The media fills us with so much crap. It's a bully really... Think about it. They tell us that to be the ideal girl we have to be 20 pounds, have huge tits, and an ass that's the size of a peanut. Then they tell guys to be assholes, and that they have to be buff, and look like Zac Efron of Justin Beiber to get girls. It's crap. I don't know a single person who isn't beautiful or handsome in their own special way. Seriously, I don't. Nobody is ugly unless their personality is shit, and then that's not even physical, it's their social skills that suck.

I read 17 magazine, but only for the horoscope, real life stories, and the informative articles. It's the only magazine (that I've found) that tells girls they are beautiful no matter what size they are.

What lead me to sitting here to rant about this stupid shit? Facebook. Why? Because so many  of my friends post shit about wishing that they were better looking. Idgaf what you look like, if you're a nice person, and you don't act like you're the greatest person in the world, you're already beautiful or handsome. Sure some people are born with oddly 'perfect' bodies, but a lot of the time they're ugly on the inside. Which is where true beauty is found. So quit judging yourself. Find ways to make yourself feel beautiful without being unhealthy. I legit stand in front of my mirror naked and point out the things I love about my body. Focus on the good and the 'bad' will slowly dissipate. Just saying.

I shot a little girl today...

      I almost quit my job today, for various reasons, we will not talk about. I also almost beat my phone to a pulp, because I got annoyed at people texting and asking stupid shit. Like really? Why are you asking such retarded questions? For instance, Corey asked if I left him because there's another guy... REALLY? I would have mentioned that. I don't go around lying to people about stupid shit. Gandhi, what the hell. So I replied, "No, there isn't another guy. I think if there were, the entire world would know, because I don't exactly have a private life." No reply from him... So he either thinks I'm lying, or he just doesn't know how to respond. Either way, I'm annoyed. 


     I think the only time I haven't been annoyed all week, was last night. I chilled with Zach for a little, and then I hung out with his brother and some of his friends. It was entertaining... Now I'm waiting for 4:30 to get here so I can go to Brandy Boo's wedding reception... Should probably be getting ready for that haha...Merrr


Listening to little bird by shoe. Making me feel a little better. 


I feel like the old me is dead and gone, and there's this new, wild Dez, that's been waiting to come out and play. It's nice. I'm not doing this whole playing nice anymore. I'm tired of it. I'm gonna put all caution to the wind, and well I'm gonna live my fucking life. 




4:06- I'm ready to go, but I realize, that if I leave now, I'll have an entire hour of sitting in my car XD So, I'm waiting to go... The whole entire time I'm sitting here, my parents are saying "don't drink and drive." Like seriously. I'm 19. If I'm gonna drink, I'm not coming HOME, let alone anywhere that requires DRIVING. I'm not retarded. Merr. Plus, it's a wedding reception for two people who are about my age... I highly doubt there's going to be alcohol involved. but what evs. They're parents, they know EVERYTHING haha. well I guess I'll go cause people are already there merr XD

Just a quote <3

'In your absence my heart grows stronger. In your presence I fall in love again'

Nyeh

It's been a while! Sorry guys, but all I can think to post is mushy shit, and nobody wants to hear or read about that!
I'm so fucking bored! Sitting outside work, just begging for something to do! Like I'd be up for almost anything right now. But people never text back, when I'm actually free. They always hit me up when I'm working, but when I'm off... Nothing. It's kind of annoying. But what evs. Life goes on.
I lost my best friend this week... All because I can't lie to someone's face... It's really hard. Like my heart is breaking.... And there's nothing I can fucking do about it. Like it hurts, a lot. She's one of the only people I can actually open up to and poof she's gone...
I've legit been focusing on the fact that I lost her this entire time, and I've been driving around trying to get lost. Found some great places for people to off themselves though... Not that I would do that or anything... The thought just kind of occurs to me sometimes, that there are much better places to die than a tub, car, room, or the woods. Idk just a thought..., I'mma go drive some more. Got 3 more hours till I absolutely have to be home and I need to be somewhere else right now... Alone isn't so nice when you actually feel alone. Just saying.

'Dude this girl won't get off my Dick'

Do you know how many guys have said that in front of me while I'm working? They're talking and all of a sudden a girl comes in and they flirt with her and what not, then she leaves and they tel their buddies she won't get off their Dick.... Really?

Is it just me, or are these guys incredibly stupid and obnoxious? Like, I don't even want to know this shit, but they always make it a point to say it in front of me at my register. Maybe if you wouldn't flirt with her, and maybe if you'd just tell her you're in no way interested, then maybe just maybe she'd back off. Leading her on isn't gonna get her to leave you alone, so quit being a douche behind her back....

Also, making a remark like this about MY friends, in front of me, isn't cool. So why don't you little boys grow the fuck up and be honest with girls? Yeah, I said it. Grow the fuck up. Nuff said.